I had never worry about my grades before. In primary, secondary or even in polytechnic. I mean, I am not a scholar but neither I am the lowest. I am very contended with my middle standard grades. I always knew that some one else will be much better than me or much worst than me. Never in my life i felt fear that I am the worst in class or not able to meet up the expectation of others.

Ever since I started my university life, all these "I never" suddenly appear right in front of me. A lot of things I never come across or I never think of starts appearing. I dont know if these things are already there but i refuse to acknowledge it or I am too "native" to think about it.

I am currently studying Information system management. having no background in IT and in business I chose to study in this area. My course that I study in poly is chemical. Not related at all. My classmates asked me why do I choose this course. I replied that I want to study something different and I find IT a very important area in the industry. What a stereotype answer.

Till now, I do not have the confidence to say that I have pick the right choice. My grades are not the highest of the class but in fact the lowest. Doubts is not something that I like but it somehow able to enter my life.

Currently, my course already have 18 dropouts. I am wondering should I be the 19th?